I Thought I Saw Something...

writing prompt taken from creativewritingprompts.com

Prior to the summer of 2008 "Only if you're chasing me" was my philosophy towards running.  In the process of training for my 3rd half marathon, I have been examining the events that changed what was my life long aversion to not only running, but active living as a whole.  I can name the event that inspired me, the various people who have been there to encourage me along the way, and the emotional milestones that have meant so much to a former overweight teen who loathed gym class with every bit of her being.  What I can't tell you is why I keep doing it.  

The truth is that I still don't actually enjoy running.  I begin questioning my sanity from the moment I hit start on my watch, I have constant thoughts about whether or not I will actually make it back this time, and quite frankly, I am just slow.  My stride is more of a bob, my breathing mimics hyperventilation, and there just doesn't seem to be a faster speed for me.  So why on God's green earth would I continue to meet my running buddy at 6:00 a.m. two days a week for 3.5 mile runs and sign up for various 5k's and half marathons, the latter of which requires me to put in extra miles and long training sessons on my weekends?

Then, this weekend, while on a 12 mile run, I thought I saw something.  Running along side of me was a woman.  Strong and fearless as she pounded the pavement to meet my stride, this woman appeared to be a natural.  Although she was keeping pace with me, she didn't look as sluggish and she didn't seem nearly as out of breath as I felt.  She was confident and unaware of her jiggly parts; a freedom I have never known.  And, I couldn't see the redness of her face, a trademark of mine that, to my best guess, keeps other runners debating on whether to call for help.  She kept perfect time to the music playing in my ears and, like a soundtrack to a movie, the songs' themes seemed to paint a beautiful picture of someone who, to everyone's shock including her own, had created a new version of herself. 

There is a lot of thinking to be done on a 2 1/2 hour run and it finally occured to me why I keep getting out there.  I realized that, although a mere shadow of myself, this woman represents everything I want to be, everything I wish I could see in the mirror, and most importantly, the way I feel when I get out of my head, into my music, and let the path lead me.  Walking or running, I am doing it!  So what does she have that I don't?  The luxury of being seen at a 45 degree angle at all times.