The Not So Spiegel Woman

In the past few years as my commute has increased, my hours at work have gotten longer and I have settled into a fairly regular work week routine, I have found myself to be… “a career woman?” I don’t even remember exactly how it happened. Somewhere along the path of unexpected promotions I became a 40+ hour a week working, heel-wearing, mug-toting, early-morning-workout-routine-having, business professional. I am humored by this notion and even more entertained by the vast differences between myself and the image I still have for what the “working woman” should look like. I can say with all certainty that it isn’t me.


My image, like most of my childhood standards for beauty and success, comes from the media.  In the early 90’s the Spiegel clothing catalog aired a commercial featuring their wash & wear clothing line for the “on the go” business woman. That year, the company enhanced its image as the premier catalog for career women through an advertising campaign that featured actress Candice Bergen, who portrayed a career woman on the situation comedy "Murphy Brown." The campaign also featured a specialty catalog promoted by Bergen, emphasizing the inconvenience of department store shopping and the relative ease of shopping by catalog.


The commercial (minus Candice Bergen) was geared towards “the woman who has everything, but time."  For me, that commercial became the epitome of what a successful woman looks like and how I wanted to see myself once I started my career. Never mind what that career might be, because of course as a pre-teen I had no clue or care.  I just liked the image. Thanks to television, movies, and magazines, there were plenty of images for who I wanted to be in my teen years. The dating teenager would have been at the top of the list, a fashionable high school student and free-spirited college co-ed were also in the scope, but I don’t ever recall having any other images outside of the Spiegel commercial for what being an adult/a woman would look like.

As we see her, the Spiegel woman, a beautiful, blonde thirty something, is in the midst of her morning routine when the commercial begins with fluffy white towels wrapped around both her body and what is presumed to be wet hair. She moves swiftly across the room and, through billowing white curtains, we see what looks like a male underwear model still asleep under crisp, cotton white sheets. While drinking her coffee, we soon realize as she pulls out a very stylish box-shaped suitcase that she is not only getting ready for work but simultaneously packing for what looks like a business trip to make a 9:00 flight to LA...all of which is outlined in the first 20 seconds.  Meanwhile, the television she turned on with her perfectly manicured hands can be heard in the background promoting the Spiegel free gift ("an elegant eye shadow collection" and $3 gift certificate... yes, $3) with purchase of the catalog.  A commercial within a commercial, brilliant!  The next thing you know, she is dressed, with hair fixed, and is putting on the final touches to her make up.  She grabs her belt, adjusts the waist, gently nudges a plush white cat out of her suitcase, puts on her high heels with one leg bent behind her, turns off the television just before the Spiegel commercial finishes the marketing tagline “for the woman who has everything, but..."  She kisses the male model (still lying in bed) on the cheek and is out the door with the greatest of ease… probably on time if I had to guess.  The most amazing part is that all of this is accomplished in under one minute!  Yes, she goes from towel to taxi in the amount of time it takes her to watch a Spiegel catalog commercial. 

Cut to my morning routine and the reality of my not so Spiegel catalog morning which I think would be more of a comedy if I could have a camera rolling as I try to make my way out the door.

I have a standing 6:00 a.m. appointment with my workout buddy which means I have to leave the house by 5:25. However, there are usually two to three days a week where I oversleep or decide the night before that I am just too tired to make it at which point, my morning regimen goes a little something like this.

First let’s make it clear that there is no coffee being made at home, no watching the news because I would never get out of the door, and unless I work out or take it the night before, the shower isn’t going to happen. The “power suit”, well that gets traded in for whatever pair of dress pants are fitting that day, a shirt and some form of jacket or cardigan, all of which I will inevitably change a minimum of 3 times before getting so far behind that I am stuck with whatever I end up trying on last. Having options aren’t a good thing for me when trying to move at an increased speed. I usually end up having to pull what seems to be my in-between-hairstyles-hair up into something semi-decent with only 2 minutes to spare as I fumble my way through my jewelry box and around the bedroom using my cell phone as a flashlight. If I am organized enough to pick out my clothes the night before, which is usually not the case, then that last portion can go a little bit more smoothly. However, even when I do lay out my clothes, it never seems to be the right combination for my mood when I go to put them on in the morning. This is a motivation for going to the gym though because, in the locker room, I am stuck with whatever I brought.

No offense meant towards my wonderful husband, but he isn't exactly cut out for the Spiegel catalog commercial either.  He is more of the light-sleeping, lying-spread-eagle-across-our-bed, breathes-with-his-mouth-open-while-making-incoherent-statements type.  Without fail, as I make an effort to find his forehead in the dark, our ferocious 17 lb Dachshund, Murphy, will growl, from the crook of his master's leg underneath the covers, at the could be intruder until (like clock work every day) I help uncover him revealing that he is, indeed, protecting his master from his own wife. 

If you aren't keeping time, at this point, I am usually at least 5 minutes behind as I am running out the door while shoving several small packages of processed foods along with one piece of whatever fruit I challenged myself to eat for the week and crossing my fingers that this random selection will get me through the day.  With that, only 50 minutes from the time I turned my alarm off, I am in my car where I will sit for what could be up to 2 hours pending traffic often times questioning whether I am awake enough to be operating heavy machinery.

In defense of my pre-teen naivite, how was I suppose to know that my clothes would fit differently pending the day of the week or that my husband would be a light sleeper forcing me to perfect my sense of touch and ability to find a pair of earrings in the pitch black of 6:00 a.m.  I also have to wonder what her clothes must have looked like after that long haired cat laid on them.  I can pick Murphy up for a few minutes and I feel like I could clone him a brother from the hair left on my shirt. 

Looking back, my expectations for what my morning routine might look like in my thirtys were slightly, ok extremely, off kilter and I guess it is time for me to give up on the image.  Otherwise I am failing miserably at living up to it.  However, I can't help but think that not wearing blouses with shoulder pads might just be a small victory within itself.

See the Spiegel catalog commercial by clicking the link below.

Spiegel Catalog Commercial, "for the woman who has everything, but time"